Placing vs. Giving up

It is great to see several stories in the news this past week on adoption. It was even nicer to see that they were positive. However, one small thing really gets me as I hear or read these stories. The term “give up” or She gave up her baby. Over the past 3 years we have been waiting/working on our miracle and especially the last 2 years where we have been teaching the adoptive couples to be class, I have yet to hear or see a birth mother who “gave up” her baby. They give up their right to parent that child not the child itself. To give up sounds like they don’t care or love that child. Nothing could be further from the truth. They loving place their baby (often their first born) into the arms of another mother. Hoping and trusting that this couple can give their child the life she can’t. Other terms bug us as well. Babies are not “put up” for adoption; you put your house up for sale. They are not “adopted out” like you would a litter of puppies. She doesn’t “get rid of” the baby either.
The whole adoption process, as we have seen it, most of the time is all about love for the child. Love of a birth parent that can make the rough choices and the love of the adoptive family as they get what they have been aching and yearning and praying for. Simply put. “It’s about Love”

Merry Christmas to All!!

We wish everyone Glad Tidings. May you all have Joy and Happiness the Holiday Season. We are so grateful for the love and support from all of our family and friends. The holiday season is a time to reflect and remember all that we have been given. We are truely grateful for the blessings that we have. We know that the Lord hears and answers our prayers and we pray that 2008 will be the year that our miracle finds us.

We pray for your continued happiness. May you all be blessed this holiday season and throughout the coming year.

All our Love

Scott and Natalie

We are not alone on the journey

We got a really nice Christmas card from our case worker yesterday. In it she stated how much she appreciated all that we were doing to help other couples with their own adoption miracles. (With FSA). She also mentioned that she knew it can be hard to be long waiters and that she knew many people were praying for us and our own miracle. That felt good. It seems that every time we get a bit down or discouraged we get the lift we need from a friend or neighbor. They simple say that they are praying for us and that makes us feel so grateful.
We know that we are doing what we should be doing. We will help any couple with their profile or what to do and say. We have a firm testimony of the great work that Adoption is. We have couples tell us they are placing after waiting a whole 3 months, We are happy for them but it’s still hard wondering why we haven’t had the blessing yet. Some couples get so upset that it is taking so long…a whole 6 months or almost a year. Well, we let them know that it doesn’t get much easier coming up on the 3 year mark, but its not about getting any baby, its about getting your baby. We had a case worker tell us that there was a reason we were having to wait so long, they just didn’t know what it was. I guess it is for a reason. We had a couple that was facing a failed placement (the birth mother was going to change her mind) I asked how they were dealing with it and they told me that they had to smile and have a positive attitude, “You guys would do that so we need to be like you” That was nice, but we are nothing special. We just know that there is a higher power and knowledge behind this work. After all, that’s what Faith without fear really means.

Being Baby Hungry

I guess I should say that I, Scott, am writing these entries. Natalie sees them and adds opinions, and I am sure she will write once in awhile.

I have 3 kids from a previous marriage and I have been accused by friends of being “baby hungry”. Well, I guess I am. When my kids were little I worked graveyard shift so I could be home in the day to take care of them. My ex-wife and I split when the kids were 10, 7, 4. So I missed out on a lot of the day to day stuff. Doing homework in person rather than over the phone, seeing friends come and go. Working on school projects and just the daily growth that happens. I have a great relationship with my kids then and now and we have great memories of them growing up. We were very lucky that the divorce did not have a bad impact on them. It was hard work but worth it.
So yeah, I am baby hungry; I want the late nights and the homework duties. So when my friends say it I agree.

The First Part of The Journey

In order to be able to adopt through LDS Family Services we had to be interviewed, together and individually. We also had to attend a 8 week course on adoption. There we learned about birth mothers and how they came into the agency, not to give up their baby but to make a plan for their child. Sometimes that plan included placing the baby for adoption, sometimes it meant single parenting. We also learned about the laws and other things in the adoption world.
Shortly after the class was finished we had our home study and back ground checks then we were approved to have our profile start to be shown to birth mothers. We were finally approved in March and felt sure that we would have a baby by Christmas. (That was 2004). We put our profile online with Its about love and in Aug started it online with Parent profiles. We had a few contacts from each but nothing panned out. We also had some who were not being truthful with us that first 3 months. This really opened our eyes to dealing with people on the internet. We learned and have tired to help others as they start out. We still strongly believe in the internet as a way to get our faces out there. It is worth the small risk.

In Feb. last year we were approached by a birth mother through Parent Profiles. We emailed back and forth for several months. She delivered 6 weeks early and the baby did not make it. We have also had other contacts from both the internet and our agency, but nothing has finished our travel yet.

Several months ago we heard Glenn Beck speak about their adoption. He said a line that has really stuck with us and that we believe and try to teach to all we come in contact with. It is “You don’t just want any baby. You want your baby.” We truly believe that.

We are now the chair couple for FSA for 2 of the agencies we live by as well as being on the National Board for all of FSA. We have really come to see that blessings that come form adoption.

This road has had many ups and downs but through it all we have each other, our family, friends and faith that it will happen.
Our family motto is FAITH WITHOUT FEAR!

The road so far

Well, here we are. Our names are Scott and Natalie. We have been on this road to adoption for 3 years now. It all started when a co-worker said that she was expecting and wanted to place the child with us. We were exicted and contacted the agency she was going through to get qualified. Well, she decided the best plan for her baby was with another family so we are still on the road.

We are going through the LDS Family Services agency. We are very active in the "Families Supporting Adoption" group that they sponser. (see link for more info).

The reason to do this blog is to share the joys and hurts that happen as we work on our miracle happening. We have profiles on Parent profiles as well as Its about Love.org.

Fell free to drop in any time to see how we are doing. Also, feel free to share our information with anyone that might have a use for it. We firmly belive that we can help our miracle along by letting as many people know as possible about us.